2007 Love Letters
During those unusual and amazing years, starting from 2001 through 2011, Neal was supporting LeaMcD Deaf programs in America by driving a truck for Covenant Transport and Becki was in Ethiopia most of the time managing the Deaf programs. Love Letters between Neal and Rebekah Payne from years 2001 through 2011 can attest to the beauty of sweet love between a married couple, while simultaneously obedient to God’s will in order that their hearts, minds, and personal finances could be used to bless the Deaf of Ethiopia. It is their hope and prayers that 11 years of love letters while blessing the Deaf in Ethiopia will inspire others to dedicate themselves to God’s assignments for their lives. It is worth it!
……..More Years of Love Letters Coming Soon………
August 18, 2007
Becki,
What I was trying to say yesterday is whatever it costs you to do what God sets you up to do (or to fail in doing) it is counted for righteousness or for damnation. One of the things that is the very hardest for me to is to forgo holding on to the money that I have. While growing up, I always thought that the lack I had in some things I would make up for in my determination to succeed by being most careful with my spending plan. Most people are very smart in schooling but cannot control their spending. Therefore, I would succeed in making less money than others, but spending more wisely. Now God has put in front of me, a hard thing to do and by His grace, I will do it. The test or (investment) is the greatest and hardest thing in my life. It is like a man that found a great treasure, so he sold all that he had and bought it.
There are many other things we could have done ourselves for our own satisfaction, but God has let us give up that which we can not keep to gain that which we cannot lose. It is like a worm that stops being what it was, rests as it were for a little while, then (Metamorphosis), and is completely different. God has led me slowly into this because I think it would have been too much for me all at once. So much for the bragging. I am not bragging for me but about God, and the way He leads us one step at a time through steps that we cannot understand, and through steps, we cannot take by ourselves. It is not explainable to those with who God is not working. For them it is like the ground to be walked on, for you and me it is precious, to be raked in, to be held onto with all our might, to be put in a safe place and guarded day and night. To be taken out and given to others without measure. I love you without measure,
Neal
August 22, 2007
To My Love,
Yesterday I sat at Allentown PA. Got 34hr reset. I walked, read, shopped, and ate. I ate at Old Country Buffet. I did not know how hungry I was. It cost 11.00 and I felt guilty, you need the money so badly. Lately, I have been in N Y, CT, and MA and have been spending a lot on tolls, so have not made as much as it looks like. There was 285.00 sat 18th and I needed 200.00. I keep thinking it is too much for us to do but then I think– do not sweat the small stuff, it is all small stuff. It is not you; it is not me; it is God in us that directs us. Do not worry about the results, just do the right thing for the right reasons. We may not turn the world upside down, but we may with God’s direction tilt it exactly right. I miss hearing from you. You must be terribly busy, like out of town, talking to important people and away from your computer sometimes.
Love,
Neal
September 1, 2007
Neal,
I am remembering the darkest hour is just before dawn. Now I do not know if we have been facing our darkest hour or not. Maybe worse before it gets better, but I keep telling myself how much God is in control and that without Him nothing can get done, but with him all things are possible. Whenever we are in God’s will and touching the lives of the poor, oppressed, and the needy we can be sure Satan will attack however he can discourage or destroy that work. What I understand for now is that you and I have become in the same state as them (poor, oppressed, and needy) for a greater purpose than we can imagine. Now we are truly giving out of our poverty rather than our wealth and hopefully, God can use this to further His kingdom in ways beyond anything we can ever hope or dream. God’s ways are not our ways. His thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts and remember the Kingdom of God is taken by force. Meaning it is not without struggle and trials, much warfare, laying down our lives as Jesus who is our perfect example.
He came to earth with absolutely nothing even though He was the creator of the whole world. He lived among us as one of the poor and gave all He had even His life in a horrible death just to prove what love is all about. In the same way (although not perfect as Jesus) we have an opportunity to show God’s love to these people that money can’t buy and help to enrich their lives and bring them to a better understanding of God’s love. No matter how much we think in our own understanding of how things ought to be done, in the end, God calls all the shots and does as He chooses. It is our choice to follow along in His perfect plan or become disillusioned and discouraged. I pray, God keeps us both strong in Him and ready and willing to go as far as He calls us to go. If we always remember, our reward is in heaven rather than here on earth, there is no reason to complain or feel discouraged that others have not come alongside us to help. The greater miracle is when Jesus took the five loaves of bread and two fishes and lifted them up to God to bless and then it multiplied enough to feed the five thousand hungry people.
This is the real issue we have when you see it from that perspective. It becomes the most wonderful thing to consider. Just think, you are the little boy who gave what he had (the 5 loaves and 2 fish) It was not much but was given to Jesus to use to feed the huge crowd. Jesus showed His love and compassion for the hungry people by using what was available even though so very meager compared to such a crowd. This is an example of how God’s ways are so much higher than our ways. In today’s world, where money talks, where nothing seems to be done without money, where those in control of governments and high positions use the money to work things to their own advantage, Jesus still feeds the poor, the needy and hungry with just five loaves and 2 fish. I love you beyond too much too!
Becki
September 16, 2007
Becki,
I woke up early. I said I would write to you a few days ago, but have been so tired. I have been rebelling too. I put in 33 hours of driving in 38 hours and had to refuse a load because I was too tired and the next load could not be done. The 38 hours above was really 35. One week I am doing little miles, the next week three times as many miles, but at the end of the week, I am just as tired X two! I just came from Fontana CA and picked up at Riverside CA. Then 2140 miles to Monroe, GA. S.E. Of Atlanta, GA Tuesday morning at 08:01. There are now 4 months turned up on the calendar since you have got out of the truck. I keep track because you tear off each month and I just fold them back. As I said I have been rebellious. At one moment, I am at peace with God about what we are doing, the next day I cannot stand it. I am like a bull in a shopping center, upset at God and man. I am wearing out the Children’s Bible as I drive down the road.
Most of the world is just one or another variety of insanity. I try to stay away from them all. The best time I have is 3-4 hours before I arrive at a rest time usually about 3:00, or 4:00 am. I am praying to God and wide awake happy to be alive for yet another day and everything is finished. “When the frost is on the pumpkin and the fodder’s in the shock and you hear crackling and the gobbling of the strutting turkey waddle. Them the times a feller’s a feeling at his best when the frost is on the pumpkin and the fodders in the souk!”. It is the best of times: and it is the worst of times. It is the time when we may, with our father that has made out all the papers of adoption, pen the avenue we will travel through this life, and sign the papers. He has prepared for us and with the words of God’s Son, as He says with Him, “I have longed to drink this cup with you and to eat this bread with you. May I say it is the best of times because it is an act that I have been preparing for, for a long time? But if I may say so please, “if it is possible take this cup from me?” I know it from our lack of faith that God has kept us from doing exploits and I know we have not because we ask not.
I do pray for God to make exploits from our hands, and to multiply the jewels He is putting in his treasure chest. I have been ill this past week. I have used much of the paper towels that you remember being in your way in the window. I got a bunch of peanuts that you do not like and have been making a mess on the floor. I save money by doing laundry in a tray when I shower. The truck now has 399.000 miles on it. It just got dark while writing to you. It has been to me almost unbearable the heat the last month, but now it is cooling off a lot in the evening. I need to prepare for another night of driving now. I am still, still in love with you. Keep your head low, keep your powder dry, and come back to me. Like the song goes: Becki, do not be a hero. Come back to me!
Neal
September 29, 2007
My Dear Sweet Neal,
I am so glad to hear from you. Please do not make the spaces between times when you write to me for too long. I need to hear from you often because I too get so discouraged when I do not hear from you. It is difficult days for both of us to be separated for so long. I love you dearly and if you are willing, I am willing to weather through these lonely days. God knows why it is this way, but I trust He is in control and will bring about His perfect will through all of it. When we say we will sacrifice for Him, we do not know where He will lead us or just what the cost we might be called to pay but I am so glad you are a man that is willing and giving everything for the great cause of which we are called. You know and understand the things as I do in such a way that always brings my heart so close to you. You are so supportive; how can I tell you what it means to me? Where is there anyone who matches you? Above all, I know you are doing as unto the Lord no matter what!
I am so busy too. The school year has started and there are all kinds of activities to begin. We are living on a shoestring with the money that comes from you but we are managing as we cut out programs such as feeding the old deaf and any other thing that can be cut just to get us through these next two or three months. I transferred nearly all the money in our account to the LeaMcD bank account this time so we would have enough to pay the teachers on Monday. Tom and Hayes really helped us get through a very rough time to pay our rent when they sent money. Have you received an email from Wondwossen? He really loves you. Please reply to him if you can. Don’t be discouraged, Neal. One day, you see all that your money has done and be so blessed. In the meantime, I love you with all my heart.
Becki
September 29, 2007
Becki,
To my lost love, my only my friend, my confidant, my battle companion, my trusted friend, my bank, and my light, I am busy and tired. Sleeping walking doing and all I can for our common good. I have 6 hours and it will be time to go again. I have three more days until my time of 70 hours will be used up. I am doing mostly team (as a single driver) runs and Tommy says I am doing great. I am in Idaho and going to Portland ORE, then to Yakima WA then to Amarillo Tx. That is where my time will run out. I am high then low, I love God and His Son and the plan He has given to us, and I am too busy to give Him the time He wants me to give. I just want you to know that I did not disappear but have been discouraged and terribly busy.
Love,
Neal
October 4, 2007
Becki,
I had a dream. Fifteen to thirty people were gathered for a meal. At my table were four. The table was exactly right to seat four comfortably. The food was good. All four at my table were nice people, and we all enjoyed a good meal and good conversation. The woman across from me was especially nice, and I was impressed with her. I looked very closely at her. There was something about her that caught my attention and I did not know what it was. When I thought it might be what it looked like, I was so taken back that I dropped the food and fork in my hand and stood up pushing the chair back that I had been sitting on. It was you, my Rebekah, my love and you came rushing to me and put your arms around me and held me close and comforted me. We had been eating for some time and were just about finished when I noticed I knew you more than just a friend. I love you,
Neal
October 4, 2007
Becki,
5524 miles should be on the next check unless they hold the last trip back. You see I am working hard, and the freight must have been picking up. They are trying to do away with all single drivers. Tommy told me about a week ago the same thing. He said he will try to make an exception with me and one other driver. The two of us are the only ones on Tommy’s board that are single drivers. The rest of the single drivers Tommy has been dispatching only owner-operators. Since you, left many things have changed.
Neal
October 11, 2007
To My Love,
I think that you are so unhappy with some in the States that you would rather stay with friends that love you in Ethiopia. I cannot blame you; I might feel the same. I was so tired this morning that I slept through two alarms. Slept four hours past delivery time at Walmart. Therefore, they are teaching me a lesson. So 26 hours later I will try it again, with 4 alarms. I was just at Chattanooga yesterday, and Tommy told me that I am now dedicated, which explains why three hours after I arrived at Chattanooga, they pushed me out of the truck to fix it. Then I got the paper signed so I could leave ASAP. As soon as the truck was finished, I had a load to NC. I got here 4-5 hours early, went to sleep, and slept 3 hours past delivery time. I have had a rough day. Lots of sleep, but not rested. You must help me do what I am doing because what I am doing is not changing. Whatever you are doing is not changing either as it relates to me now.
You need to let me keep some money or help me make it. At least I am now dedicated which means that you and I would both be dedicated if you were to join with me. I am becoming tired from too much tomorrow and not enough today. So today, I slept most of the day, not so much from being tired, but from the guilt of oversleeping. Tell Wondwossen’s wife that she has a lot of work to do, and so does every Christian’ who is doing the Great Commission. Walmart is teaching me a lesson. Do you think I should teach my body a lesson? Or do you think my body was teaching me a lesson? I cannot help any of the consequences. I just do the best I can. The freight has picked up in the last 2-3 weeks. Therefore, if you were to drive with me, it would be like having a vacation and have more money at the same time. My heart is with all the deaf where you are. You are deaf, I am deaf, and that is a good thing!
Love,
Neal
October 15, 2007
Becki,
When we hang a door: If we hang it wrong it may not open or close properly. And when it is closed in the summer the bugs come in and dust comes in. In the winter, the snow comes in. In our life, if the door to our heart is not used properly then the wrong spirit may come in and destroy our life. Josh. 24:15. I just said what a preacher said, but I believe this is true and I would rather listen to this than all the other things that are on TV or radio. I feel bad that I haven’t written to you more. There are many people in this world but few that have the loving heart that you have. I am indebted to God for bringing you to me. We are far apart but close together, discouraged but not forsaken, asked to work hard but given just enough to make it happen. The doors that God opens and closes we cannot always see-through, the faith we have I do not understand. One day and one step at a time we go forward. Looking back, we see how God has led us, but looking forward we cannot see how God will lead us.
But with the Spirit of God, we can take one step in the right direction day after day. Then it is good to look back to strengthen our faith. This is what we should do when we think we are wasting our time. This we must do to quicken our steps to the door that should be opened or closed, to do exploits, not for ourselves but for the Lord of our lives, Jesus, who already promised that He would help us to do exploits. It is already done so to speak, just waiting for our deciding day by day to depend on Him and take one more step with faith. You may be right, I may have it easy compared with you, but it is or has been for me a time I will not ever be able to forget, a time of heavy investment, a time I have to see things that I cannot hold, and love by faith that which may not return the love.
I love you,
Neal.
October 16, 2007
My Love,
I just paid 200.00 to Verizon because no payment has been done since August, and we need to pay yet about 160.00. I have a load now so will send more later. If you were here, or if you get here soon, Tommy could put us on a dedicated hazmat run from Chicago Ill. To Kent WA 6000mi a week 2.5 trips a week.
I love you,
Neal
October 16, 2007
Neal,
Oh, I understand now about Verizon. Wow sounds like a nice run from Chicago to Kent. Well, I have been asking the Lord very fervently to lead us back together and to supply the financial way to do it. Let us see what He does. Let us trust him. We are finishing up some urgent matters with the staff and then Kubi and I were going to seek funds, But then he told me of his idea and if it works, I might be able to get back soon or even better, you might be able to come here, except that we would need to finish paying off our personal debts there, etc. I should know something in the next few days if Kubi’s idea will work.
Love you,
Becki
Hey Neal,
I am trying to work with our Verizon account online to see if I can cut down that bill since it is only you are using it. They took out 200.00 for this month’s bill which is hard to believe. Anyway, they have sent the blackberry a password. When you see it, can you send it to me so I can get into the account online and see if I can make the bill smaller each month?
Thanks, I LOVE YOU!
Becki
October 17, 2007
Hello My Dear Neal,
Just to let you know you are so much loved. I am praying for you and the situation all the time. Everyone here is praying for you. Neal, it may seem to you that you are forgotten. You are not forgotten. You are the real hero in this story, and you are now at a place where only God can deliver. My biggest prayer is that we can be together again very soon. My biggest hope and dream is that you can stop driving and we will be together in Ethiopia very soon. Kubi and I are working on it all the time now. He has come up with an exceptionally good plan. If God allows, we might have some funds very soon. Let us pray for it. It may mean several things might happen at that point. Either I go there temporarily, or you can come here. I tell you are going to be treated like a king when you get here. Please Neal, just hold on a bit longer. We are still dealing with that woman from Canada and still possibilities we can get some funds through her. Anyway, just want you to know I love you so much. I am so much proud of you, my man, my love, my hero. God bless you.
Becki
October 17, 2007
Becki,
Tommy said he has a team on that run, but he does not have to leave them on that run and there are other runs that are good too that he can put us on. So, my thinking is…Tommy likes us as a team, and brags about us, to me at least. So, he will do us good. Out of all the dispatchers, more than 1/2 of them are gone, and Tommy is still there. And other drivers brag about him too. About the same run…Tommy said that when we wanted to come to Chattanooga for home time, he just puts another team on that run while we take a load toward Chattanooga. I have 5 months turned up on the TA Calendar, and I am waiting for you to tear off the old ones. This morning I just found a leather container with 16 coins in it. I am sitting at Pilot Dalton Ga. What I think I will be doing next is a run from Tunnel Hill to Denver. You know the rest of that story. I love you.
Neal
October 19, 2007
Becki,
Each time I get back in the truck I look to see if you have sent a note to me. A note so sweet that makes me cry, a note that tells me when. And when I see that nothing is there, no note that helps me through the days, A note that tells me you are all right, I think bad thoughts like I don’t count or you have better things to do than throw your time at such like me. And then I see it is me that has not sent the one I love, a note that tells her how and when and who I love each day, and most of all, the only one I think of all day long. Don’t forget I’m up each night with nothing else to do but think of you, and think of you, and thank God each time I rest again that He has kept me safe again so I can look again to see if you have left a note again to tell me I am only yours and hope to meet me soon. So, I look again to see if you have sent to me, a note that tells me I am HE, and I am loved the most.
With love, affection, and admiration,
Neal
October 19, 2007
Neal,
You are HE, the one I love the most. The one I long to see and hold in my arms once again. I am desperately in love with you with all my heart. I am so anxious to be with you again. I thought it was your turn to write and have been looking up on the internet often to see if I find your note there to me. Forgive me, I should have written instead of waiting for you to write. I will write more often from now on until we are safely back together. I think maybe you have not received some email I already sent, actually some very lengthy email to tell you what is going on here so that you understand why I am here at this time. I will send you a copy just in case. Also, did you get the info that I am very much interested to get back to soon and how I asked the old deaf to pray and pray about it and then the next day I got an email from you telling me about Tommy saying about all the good dedicated runs we can get and at the very same time I got an email from Ethiopian Airlines telling me of Sheba miles that I have that might go a long way to get me a ticket back but I am not sure yet.
So, I am working on it. But right now I am facing a very heartbreaking situation in that we are trying to get our principal Molla to resign instead of firing him because if we fire him we will have to pay him two months’ wages which we don’t have. Kubi and I have been fighting about the whole thing too and have put a big strain on our working relationship. In the meantime, we do have another highly qualified person to come on board with us but cannot hire him until we have funds enough to do so and if Molla leaves we can do it then I will feel good to come back to the states. So be patient some more time Neal. God knows the whole thing. I love you so deeply; this is the very most crucial time to complete my part here. I think funds may be right around the corner if only we can get our school all cleaned up in certain areas.
Love you,
Becki
October 20, 2007
Hey, My Sweet Love Neal,
I have been so worried about you since your email. You are sounding so tired and worn out. How can I comfort you? I am not sure what to do right now. I am really feeling so badly. Yesterday, I spent the day just walking all over the place trying to understand what God is doing. It is such a crucial time for me to be here for the deaf and I do not want to leave too soon or all the time I have been spending on getting everything under control at the school will be wiped out. If you knew the details of it, you would understand what I am trying to do. It is not about avoiding the states in preference to being here where I am loved. It is so much deeper than that. It is about bringing about the right atmosphere in our school to make it successful in a spiritual way. This whole last year while I was with you in the states, some particularly important things were neglected here. It is not the fault of Kubi, but he was very much aware of it. It was about the principal, Molla. He does not know how to lead properly, and the staff had no discipline.
Kubi could not address it because to touch anything controversial would take up all his energy and his focus was on other more intense issues about government, finances, reports, fundraising, and proposals regarding our school. When I arrived back in Ethiopia, I also could not address it because I was very much tied up in seeking funds. About 6 weeks ago, Kubi agreed with me for me to address the problems and it has taken about 6 weeks just to get all the staff to finally come to work on time. Part of the big problem was that no one here has had a full day schedule for a full days’ work. This is due in part because the high school did not start, but mostly because there were no innovative programs to take its place. There are certain bad habits they acquired, and no one held them responsible. The only one who has been here every day all the time is Kubi and he has been working like a dog. If he were to address the issues, he would have been stuck in it and unable to do his own work. I have been so disappointed especially for your sake because it has been a waste of money to spend on people who are not doing their full-time jobs but getting full-time pay. Therefore, I believe God has called me to be here instead of there right now to get these things straightened out. I have been implementing programs to bless the deaf and to fill up the hours with full-time work for the staff.
It has taken time to make some headway with the staff because of bad habits in Ethiopian culture and because of the lack of rules and regulations that the principal should have had in place a long time ago. Now it has been up to me to try to clean up the mess and put a fire under Molla. Bad habits do not change overnight, and I really need to monitor this program for a while to be sure it sticks. Otherwise, all that I am trying to do will be in vain. I think we are going to let Molla go, but that is also another headache and he may try to make trouble that will also need a lot of care and wisdom. He tells me he is doing nothing wrong, but Kubi and I do not agree so you see we are having a big challenge ahead of us with the teachers. This is the main reason why I see the Lord still has me here instead of in the states.
There are other reasons as well for me to be here right now, which have to do with following up on fundraising with the NGOs that we have already contacted that have great potential to collaborate with us in a financial way. We were told that these coming days are a better time to approach NGOs. Kubi could do a lot of it himself, but it will go much quicker if I help him with contacts and editing. Therefore, I am addressing both fundraising and school issues. If you remember, I was thinking to go back to the States last month, but I had no money for a return ticket. This is another point about not returning. I took it as God’s directive to stay here and do what only I seem to be able to do at this time. I thought you would be able to be here by now. I do not know why God continues to delay our financial needs for the school. I do not want to continue repeating the trucking experience unless of course God clearly directs me to get back in the truck. Otherwise, it is also a vicious circle that never ends. Our school is growing so much, and we are desperate to find the funds now. We are becoming the key that opens the door for excellent deaf education in Ethiopia. Our name, LeaMcD, is now well known to have quality education for the Deaf. We must finish the work in God’s way for His glory.
Neal, I know you feel discouraged and tired. You are carrying the weight of this whole thing on your shoulders. No one can even imagine how you can possibly do it, especially because I have not been on the truck. I know how lonely and discouraging it can be. Please, Neal, hang in there and trust God. Remember our reward is in heaven. Remember eternity. Please trust me too. I am not staying here because it is a better life for me but because I need to finish up important issues that to leave early would only be a bigger mess for us in the future. I love you, Neal. I want more than anything else for us to be together. My days are very full, but when everyone leaves the school, I have loneliness and I am missing you so much. Remember, the darkest hour is just before dawn. He will not give us more than we can bear but promises a way of escape. Believe it, Neal. Use your time to draw closer to the Lord. You have such a good opportunity to do so. Let Him be everything to you. He will get you through this tough time. We are all praying for you here. Everyone here is so concerned and are wanting me to hurry and go back to be with you. I am trying to understand God’s will in all of this. Oh Neal, please do not be discouraged. You say things are not changing there or here in relation to you, but they are, just be patient some more time and trust God. He is doing it. I love you deeply,
Becki
October 31, 2007
Becki,
Here is the story: They put me on a long run from the Dalton area to Kent WA. With just enough time to make it to the pickup point. Friday night traffic was bad, so I knew I would about 15 minutes late. I had bad directions with no exit number. I was about 1hr late. Then the shipper said it is not here. One and half hours later, Covenant said the load is 26mi away. So, I picked load up about 4 hours late. The Shipper said that does not matter, as long as I deliver on time. So, I ran the load 19hrs. Now I am almost ready to deliver in Tracy Ca and almost out of hours. When I got this trailer, it had no mud flap, so I just put one on the trailer that I found in the parking lot that someone else lost. I have been looking for one yesterday and today and was glad to find one. I was relieved to know that you miss me so much because you are so far away that you could have a life that I know nothing about. But you are barefoot and pregnant just as I am. When you have plenty of money coming in from others, then I might test you and question you more. It feels good and hurts at the same time to support all that you are doing.
I always want to be needed. The truck has been in the shop 4 times in the last month. They finally found the problem at Freightliner at Amarillo Tx. The problem was the #5 injector, the same thing happened with Golden Harvest Honey Truck. I have been eating a lot of potatoes. Got some ridiculously cheap at 2 different places. One cooler is still 1/2 full of them. I had several bags of Fritos, and Doritos and one day driving in Colorado, I kept hearing popping noises. I picked up a bag and dumped chips all over. Then I realized what the popping was all about (high altitude in Co broke the bags!). It reminds me of the time you told about all the big deer running away from the little dog. I felt stupid that it took several days to find out where all the popping noises were coming from. I love you very much. I have been busier than I have a right to be. I do not seem to have any weekends even during the week. Each day runs into the next and very often, I do not know what day of the week it is. If I feel tired, then I know I have been busy for the last few days. The more I invest in others and put all I have into it, the more I will enjoy heaven when at last I can rest and never worry about tomorrow, or if I am loved or needed. Love your direction always,
Neal
October 31, 2007
Hi Neal,
Well, please do not worry about me having another life you know nothing about. I am so intense with so many issues here and trying to follow the Lord in everything, I do. Of course, temptations are around just as you have in the states with the truck stops and those you might be attracted to but in the end, the Lord is giving me strength and grace to pursue His ultimate will. You know we have talked about these things several times, how our actions in these areas can affect the whole work. I must admit, I have been facing a severe test, but God has protected and helped me to be an over-comer through the whole thing. You will hear about it when we get together again. Remember how I handle temptations; in that, I have a policy of no physical contact. Neal do not forget our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers in the air of which are unseen but manifest in various ways to cause us to be deceived and to lose our way. I am aware and stay on guard to not be ignorant of Satan’s devices, so please put your mind to rest.
When I recall all the years of our times together and how you so completely satisfy me, it brings me contentment until the day I am in your arms again. What about you Neal? How is it going with you? Are you staying strong and determined? You are always on my mind and in my prayers. I do love you so much and continue to be so amazed at how God is caring for you through this whole time and keeping you safe and preserving you in such hard work even if you cannot see firsthand the whole situation here despite your doubts and fears regarding what will be the end result. Neal, you are greatly loved and appreciated in ways you will never see on this side of heaven because right now all the heavenly hosts are applauding you in Jesus’ name. My desire for you is to have the biggest portion of any reward here on earth that God might be pleased to give us, including all the love and attention that everyone here in Ethiopia is so much desiring to give you. You cannot imagine how much you are loved here. I want us to be able to live peacefully among all the deaf here and have a life of tremendous fulfillment, knowing that we have both been obedient to the calling on our life. I love you. Please be at peace. I am yours.
Becki
November 3, 2007
Becki,
I L U. I LU. I L U. I L U so much. I am amazed that I am married to the most important woman I know. I Love U. I L U. It is God’s will that I make you happy. More after my drive. I L U. It is most important that I make the proper decision today, no matter what the past. That means I must do what is right to and for you. Even though it is an easy decision, for me to love you and be true to you. This must be done. You are the joy of my life, even though I always try to put away money for a rainy day and cannot. Do not think for a moment that I am looking at for what I cannot have. I know what I have. I have you, on the other side of the world. And God just may be blessing me because I am blessing many others. It is not what you have that makes you rich, but what others have. The richest thing in this life is showing love, compassion, identification with those in need, and the way to the Son of God that grafts us to the same.
The more you give your life for others the more deeply I am grafted to you, my love. I like the story of a man that was going to meet the one he was likely to marry for he had been writing to her for some time. They were to meet at the airport. He had served in the service of his country in wartime, and he did not want to relate to her if she had a big problem with what he looked like. So, he brought another veteran with him. He stayed back some distance from the meeting. When he saw that, she accepted the man with no feet or legs with no regrets he stepped up and introduced himself. I feel like the man in the wheelchair, with a chance of many liabilities, and you still would accept me. Your love is bigger than you may know. Love you always,
Neal
November 11, 2007
Becki,
I say Amen to your last email! God be between you and me while we are absent one from another. I just got to Pomona, Ca from French-Camp, Ca. It is that time of year again. I put 2 chains on before I left French-Camp. You know the story of Martin Luther while he was paying penitence crawling up the steps at the monastery. The words came to him that he had read in the past: “THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH”. In the middle of the last trip from IA to CA, I woke up with those words on my lips: “JUST GIVE YOUR WILL TO GOD.” That is all I have to do, the rest is wrapped up in these five (5) words for the rest of my life, and you are too. He will turn all our sorrows into joy in the end. It is. 7:00 am and time for sleep just before the sun comes up Eastern Time. I am in love with you.
Neal
December 15, 2007
My Love,
I am not trying to neglect you. I have been terribly busy with my team partner. You may remember how very little sleep I got when you first got on the truck as a driver. We have come from Chattanooga to N.C. Then KY. Now we are approaching San Francisco. Then we are going to Riverside, Ca, and will deliver at Opelika, Al. We are both Hazmat, so we will probably be going to Atlanta Ga to Estes and pull a Hazmat load. The real reason I am writing is to tell you and myself, “hold on everything will turn out ok in the end.” I was talking to my co-driver about a dream, and I then remembered a dream I had about 2 weeks ago. After I dreamed, I was amazed and satisfied that my effort was not going to be in vain, that the money you use each week that I selfishly want to hold onto is not being used in vain, and that God is using me to do His exploits. I cannot remember the dream, but I woke up after the dream and thought, “I need to remember this.
I remember what I thought about it but can’t remember the dream. It was about you and me, my efforts, my happiness, sadness, loneliness, my efforts to help you with the school, my question about how long this will go on, and how long God will bless me in that He will keep me strong enough to do His will. It reminds me of the man in the Bible who had a dream. God told him to a street called, Straight then to the house of Judas and ask for Saul because he is praying. Another reminder, God also said: “Thy prayers and thy alms have come up before me.” It seems like a small thing, but it is not. I hope this gives you peace because it has given me peace about what we are doing. I wish I could remember the dream, but I cannot, however, I remember what my conclusion was…and it was a peace about what we are doing, and about the consequences.
I love you,
Neal
